I was busy going about my Monday morning(I don't like Mondays) doing school with the kids and my daily chores when my 4 year old Samuel Jay, calls me. I was just entering the kitchen from switching laundry, and he excitedly runs to me holding a piece of white paper with holes he had punched in it. "Look Mom" he says, "there are holes in the paper for every time you get mad." My heart sank and all I could think to say was, "Did you think of that yourself???". I couldn't necessarily say, "good job" or hug him and tell him how sweet it was of him to make that for me. I really just wanted to cry as there were a lot of holes in that paper! Is that really what my precious Sammy J thinks when he thinks of his mommy?? My next thought was to God to help me erase that from that little boys mind. All I could think of was that each one of those "mad holes" was creating a big hole in this little boys heart. Then I thought that that must be how Jesus feels everytime we sin and we lose our temper and get mad. We're making Him sad and grieving His heart. This is not the goal I'm striving for in raising our children. The last month or so at church they've been preaching sermons on the home and raising children. Which by the way, I highly recommend you listen to them if you missed them or don't go to my church). Pastor Grace even came to our Home Bible Study a few weeks ago and spoke about training kids, and we talked about it again last week at HBS(sorry Andy you had to lead a women's Bible study!!). Anyway, I finally gave up a few weeks ago in trying to raise our children in my own power. I surrendered to God and said that I could not do it anymore. I couldn't wake up to another day of chaos in what should be a place of peace and tranquility. I didn't want our children to remember me always being upset and now punching holes in a paper for the amount of times I get mad! I also thought that even though that paper had all these holes in it, it was white. Just as that paper was not complete anymore with all it's holes, neither are we. God washes us white as snow every day when we sin and ask for His forgiveness. Thank you Lord for taking my Sammy to teach me a lesson and remind me of your love for us.
"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." Isaiah 1:18
8 comments:
It's amazing how God will use a babe. It can really shed some light into our busy world. We ourselves try so hard and really we just need to to let God handle it. Thanks for making me feel normal. smile - Kim
Don't feel too bad about Sammys comment. It happen to me with my Timmy. He asked me why I waw always so angry the other day. It did give me a change in heart also. Anyway I loved this post and I am looking forward to reading more of them (You spelled Chaos wrong by the way):)
Sarah Hinds
LOL! Thanks for the spell check Sarah! By the way, did you spell check your comment?? :o)
Hi Cheryl:
I really enjoyed your blog! The message about the holes in Sammy's paper reminds me of a lesson I once learned from Jason when he was probably about 12. I was in the kitchen, doing "busy work" while he was telling me the events of his day. Suddenly he stopped and said "what did I just say?". I had no clue, but tried to bluff it. He said "your not listening to me" and proceeded to walk away. I felt like a dagger was just drilled into my heart! From that day to this, I resolved that when my kids talk to me, (or anyone for that matter), I would either give them my attention or tell them I'm interested in hearing what they have to say but it needs to wait for a better moment. Mostly I just stop and listen because the older I get, the more I realize how quickly the years pass by. Jason is now 32 years old and married in a home of his own. I remember that lesson better than any I've ever had, and I'm thankful for it. I strive to be a good listener, which is not always easy, but it's so rewarding! I highly recommend it! "Out of the mouths of babes . . ." I encourage you to continue blogging; you do have good information to share. Just share from your heart and you'll never go wrong. Love, Aunt Paula
just came across your blog randomly, and i couldn't help but read this post. i have a one-year-old son, and i think i would have had the same thoughts you did. our kids teach us a lot of things in our daily life and make us better parents.
take care,
tawny
Don't feel bad - if that was my child, there would be NOTHING left of that piece of paper! Thanks for the reminder! Looking forward to reading more!:)
No I did not spell check my word waw, sorry. :) I just thought yours was funny because it was actually the italian word for Hello and Good bye. That was funny. Looking forward to reading more. Love the pics on here. Your kids are so cute. - - -Sarah
Cheryl,
The older I get the more I am understanding that there is always something to be learned in every situation of life. We just need to let our defenses down long enough to learn what that lesson might be. Our children are like mirrors -they reflect back to us what we present of ourselves to them. If the only praise I ever receive in life is from my children saying how much they love me and all I have been to them as a mother, I would consider myself blessed and fortunate beyond words. Our walks of life may all vary from one another, but as mothers, we are all really the same, and we desire only the best for each one of our precious children. Sometimes, it takes moments like these that you described to humble us, to cause us to realize what an awesome responsiblility we have, not only to our children, but to the generations that will follow as we try to raise our children in the nuture and admonition of the Lord.
Love your sister, Kimberly
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